Wenn man um 13:37 auf die Uhr schaut

Es gibt in meinem Leben immer wieder so Tage an denen einfach alles awesome ist. Meist ist es ausgelöst durch ein spezielles Ereignis - ein lustiger fortgehabend, ein gutes gespräch, ein erfolgserlebnis oder sonstiges. Meist kommen diese Dinge dann auch in kombination und man hat nach einem erfolgserlebnis einen guten fortgehabend usw. ;)

So auch diese woche mal wieder. Ich hab meine Numerik Prüfung auf 1 bestanden nachdem ich mich die letzte woche ziemlich reingekniet habe. Außerdem warn wir zu Halloween in den Stadtbahnbögen im Duplex und das war ein sehr witziger abend alles in allem. Im lokal wars zwar mangels zahlreichem publikum nicht so überragend, aber der weg zum lokal und das vorglühen warn schon durchaus epic (btw. verkleiden is lustig - vorallem wenn die verkleidung auch noch ein wenig ankommt ^.^)

Gester habe ich mich dann mit PC zum Paul aufgemacht wo wir unter anderem 2 partien LOL gespielt haben und ich beide aber sowas von genailed habe wie selten zuvor.

Und damit komme ich auch schon zum Punkt dieses posts (ich merk grad, dass ich sehr inkonsequent bin, was groß und kleinschreibung betrifft. eigentlich möcht ich nur klein schreiben, aber bei manchen wörtern zuckt der shift-finger dann doch)

also der punkt:

manchmal ist alles awesome. manchmal verfalle ich in einen zustand, der ein wenig an wahnsinn grenzt, aber auch zu den besten tagen meines lebens zählt, wenn ich diesen zustand habe. Ich kann dann meistens nicht schlafen - so auch heute wo ich nur 3 stunden gemützelt habe.

Das ganze hat aber auch irgendwie was mit schicksal zutun. Es passieren einfach soviele coole dinge:

.)wie erwähnt der numerik 1er und der lustige fortgehabend

.)Gestern kam auf pokerstrategy.de eine news, dass Full Tilt Poker endlich wieder online geht (irgendwann mal - memo an mich selbst: keine zu großen hoffnungen machen)

.)Es kam ein total basher fetz champion in LOL raus und ich hatte zufällig grade genug punkte um ihn mir zu ersteigern plus ein paar passender runen auch noch.

.)Meine mutter hat um 750€ den coolen roten mikra reparieren lassen und ich musste dafür nicht mehr machen als zu lächeln und mich zu bedanken :)

.)Mein restlicher tag war auch noch cool, aber mir fällt jetzt nicht ein was alles cooles passiert ist.

wahrscheinlich passieren eh oft coole dinge, aber man nimmt sie wohl nicht richtig wahr, wenn man gerade in der falschen stimmung ist. aber um ehrlich zu sein möchte ich auch nicht besonders lang in meiner jetzigen stimmung bleiben, da es sehr anstrengend ist - vorallem der schlafmangel und die ständige aufgewühltheit.

Die meisten posts (oder vielleicht sogar alle) dieses blogs sind übrigends in dieser stimmung entstanden.

öhm ja was wollt ich eigentlich sagen?

naja vielleicht noch ein memo an mich selbst: life's good!

/edit:

achja zum posttitel: habe heute um 13:37 auf die uhr geschaut - warum das cool ist? sagen wir so: du bist nicht cool, wenn du nicht weißt warum das cool ist ;)

und noch eins: was in diesem zustand auch oft ist, dass mir zwischenmenschliche beziehungen recht leicht fallen, weil alles so klar ist wie man was erreicht oder wie man nett ist in einem gewissen sinne. oder naja vielleicht bin ich auch einfach nett, aber hm ich habe mir gerade selbst meine frage beantwortet warum das nicht immer geht: es ist einfach scheiß anstrengend. Sich ständig zu konzentrieren ist einfach nur anstrengend und es ist erstaunlich wie sehr man sich beim reden konzentrieren muss/sollte oder auch nicht sollte? wird man dadurch unehrlich wenn man nur das sagt/tut was der andere will? ich glaube nicht, ein bisschen peace&love ham noch keinem geschadet

in diesem sinne

PEACE! :D

Gedanken

Mir geht grad, dank einem mädchen, dass mich ein wenig (oder sogar sehr) geöffnet hat recht viel im kopf herum und ich habe teilweise gerade das gefühl alles zu verstehen bzw. die dinge die ich nicht verstehe kann ich akzeptieren und versuchen sie zu verstehen.
Trotzdem denke ich mir, dass das Leben nicht so einfach sein kann wie ich es mir gerade vorstelle, aber das macht auch gar nichts - in meinem mikrocosmos passts grad ganz gut :)

So
anfangen möchte ich mit meiner Theorie über .. ja ka wie der mensch aufgebaut ist - von der gedanklichen seite jez her.
Ich unterteil das recht harsch in 3 Teile (auch wenn mir bewusst ist, dass die Grenzen fließend sind):
1) Bauch/Herz/Gefühl
2) Verstand/Hirn/Logik
3) Unterbewusstsein/dazu/fällt/mir/leider/nach/den/schrägstrichen/nix/ein

so ganz unwichtiges Nebendetail:
hab den 3 Teilen bei mir auch charaktereigenschaften zugeschrieben irgendwo.
also mein Verstand ist ein ganz hyperaktiver flitziger 14 jähriger junge, der ungeduldig ist, am liebsten alles sofort machen würde, allerdings unendlich ängstlich. Außerdem schreit er am lautesten und übertönt die anderen meistens. Im gewissen Sinn ist der Typ ein Macho, der die anderen möglichst unterdrücken will.
Mein Bauch ist ein alter Herr. Er hat meistens recht, es ist ihm aber auch relativ egal ob man ihm zuhört. Er spricht leiser und braucht ein bisschen für seine Entscheidungen.
Ja und mein Unterbewusstsein ist Carmen Sandiego. Unbekannt, man kann sie nicht finden, doch spannend und nimmt viel Einfluss. Außerdem find ichs cool einen Teil von mir zu haben der ne scharfe Frau ist ;).
hey - ist garnichtmal so uninteressant geworden.
noch eine randinfo: ich finde diesen Gedanken an die 3 Teilung so gut, dass ich ehrliche Angst habe schizophrän zu werden. Weiß nicht so recht was ich davon halten soll - kenn mich da auch ein bisschen zu wenig bei schizophränie aus (schreibt man das überhaupt so?).
Habe teilweise schon - zwar irgendwo scherzhaft - gespräche zwischen Hirn und Herz gehabt (also eigentlich nur 2 Sätze wo ich mir sachen dachte wie "ahh hallo Herz, gut dass du mal wieder eine Entscheidung getroffen hast). Naja bissl weird, aber ich glaub für echte schizophränie gehört in wahrheit schon mehr dazu - zum beispiel hazn :)

So um vom theoretischen ein bisschen ins praktische zu kommen schreib ich mal ein bisschen darüber was ich so in den letzten tagen getan habe und vorallem wie ich es getan hab.
Zusammenfassend würd ich sagen ich hab sehr bewusst mein Hirn in den Hintergrund gestellt und mein Herz mal werken lassen. Interessanter weise braucht man dazu sehr viel Hirnkraft glaub ich - wofür ich dem Hirn auch dankbar bin (seht ihr - schonwieder diese schizophränie - ANGST :)).
Praktisch heißt das, dass ich alles gemacht habe was ich wollte - also was ich wirklich wollte - immer der erste gedanke. Bin draufgekommen, auch wenn mir das noch nicht 100% klar ist warum das so ist, dass die erste entscheidung immer die beste ist. Man kann noch soviel über die Entscheidung nachdenken und sie 100x überdenken (dabei war ich bis vor kurzem glaub ich weltmeister) aber selbst wenn qualitativ gesehen (also vom ergebnis) die überdachte Entscheidung besser war als die Erste ist die Erste trotzdem einfach besser. Das liegt vielleicht an so Dingen wie Statistik, dass sagen wir mal in 90% der Fällen die Erste die beste ist, aber nur in 80% die überdachte (oft sinds ja dann auch die selben). Ich hoff ihr (an wen schreib ich hier überhaupt? ich weiß es nicht und finds grad witzig - ok ich schreib bissl für die marlene - HUHU :) ) wisst ca was gemeint ist ich will das jez net weiter ausführen. Außerdem könnte das mit der ersten Entscheidung deswegen besser sein, weil es im Leben dann doch sehr viel auf Zeit auch ankommt. Das ist mir speziell beim Fußball aufgefallen - da hab ich einfach immer sofort das gemacht was mir in den Sinn gekommen ist und bin perfekt damit gefahren, weil ich halt keine Sekunde hasatiert habe. Fand das sehr überraschend irgendwie - führt mich übrigends zum nächsten thema: Selbstvertrauen, aber jez gibts esssen - reisfleisch - mmmh :)

ok mmh reisfleisch war gut. Auch ein offenes gespräch mit meinen eltern gehabt - wieder etwas was ich aus angst vor akwardheit normalerweise nicht machen würde, aber ich habs jez trotzdem gemacht und das war sehr nett. Mach ich viel zu selten - aber daran ist auch vorallem meine mutter und da wieder deren mutter schuld! ich glaub meine oma is ein ganzschön unoffener mensch, aber das ist ein anderes thema.

selbstvertrauen:

aus einem grund den ich mir wieder nicht ganz erklären kann es aber ok ist, weil ich das zur zeit einfach so hinnehme (ich weiß, dass ich scheiß sätze schreibe, aber sie schießen mir gerade so in den kopf und editieren ist faschismus! ^^) - habe ich zur zeit unglaubliches selbstvertrauen. und das tolle ist - alles ist besser! Alles funktioniert besser, alles ist weniger mühsam, alle leute reagieren freundliche, man erlebt tollere dinge, man kann seine gedanken in Richtungen steuern in die man sie haben will (das funktioniert leider nur teilweise) und man hat tolle ideen. Das mit dem Selbstvertrauen hängt glaub ich recht eng mit dem 1. gedanke schnell entscheiden zusammen - ööööhm ich glaub dazu gibts noch viel mehr zu sagen, aber mir fallt grad nix ein.

Ehrlichkeit und offenheit find ich immer noch toll.

das mit dem nicht über dinge nachdenken hab ich übrigends noch kaum verstanden ... erklärungsbedarf.

Loslassen:

fällt mir sehr schwer, aber mir ist jetzt bewusst wie wichtig das eigentlich ist. Immer an seinen Gewohnheiten und vorallem Sicherheiten festzuhalten heißt sterben. Ich habe in gewisser weise gelernt mich davon zu lösen und glaube fest daran, dass es wichtig und gut ist. Ich habe allerdings auch große Angst, dass ich irgendwann wieder in alte Muster zurückverfalle. Mein altes Muster war schon nicht so tragisch schlecht - ich hatte halt mein Leben auf konstant gutem Glückslevel - viele andere Menschen könnten sich da einiges abschneiden an Glücklichkeit, trotzdem habe ich nicht voll gelebt. Klingt grad sehr melodramatisch (ist das das richtige wort) - aber in einer abgeschwächten Form stimmt das glaub ich so. Das führt mich zum nächsten thema:

schutzschild

ich denke, dass ich gespickt von entäuschungen, aber auch von grund aus ein ziemlich dickes schutzschild habe (hatte?) das mich vor emotionalen Enttäuschungen schützt. Speziell nach der Trennung mit der Lenka - die wie mir klar geworden ist, doch mehr bedeutet hat als ich zunächst dachte - also speziell die Trennung (die lenka selbst muss ich sagen war doch mehr eine zweckfreunding zur befriedigung der triebe - ok ich schreib hier mal nicht weiter :) ) woooo den satz hab ich jez komplett verloren - mit den vielen "-" hab ich sogar jez mich selbst verwirrt.
also es ging darum, dass die trennung doch schlechter für mich war als ich dachte.
Ich glaube, um auf meine 3 Teile Theorie zurückzukommen, mein Herz hats gecheckt, meinem Gehirn wars relativ wurst - weil objektiv gesehn unsrer Beziehung halt doch der gewisse Funke gefehlt hat.
Auf jeden fall hat sich dieses Schutzschild dadurch nur noch vergrößert und ich habe eben speziell in den letzten 1 1/2 jahren bei Frauen überhaupt nichts mehr erreicht aus dem Grund, dass ich mir immer 1000000% sicher sein wollte, dass da keine aufn emotionalen Deckel kommt - was aber ein blödsinn ist, weil man auf die weise nicht lebt.

Ich habe wirklich stark das Gefühl, dass dieses Schutzschild gefallen ist, dank dir (du weißt schon wer ;) ). Bzw. ganz sicher bin ich mir nicht, aber ich habs grad recht gut unter Kontrolle es absichtlich durch meine Gedanken unten zu halten. Es wird wahrscheinlich wieder ein wenig aufgebaut, weil so ein Schutzschild ja irgendwo auch ganz natürlich ist.

Soo ich muss jez dann meinen kleinen bruder abholen und glaub ich hab eh scho so ziemlich alles gesagt was gesagt werden musste (absoluter schwachsinn, man könnte bestimmt noch 100000000000000 stunden schreiben).

kommentare/anregungen/auslacher/whatever sind erwünscht.

Global state --- work together > seperate people

I never really understood why borders exist - these are just abstract lines on cards that seperate the land and the people. I always thought "ok - it'll have it's reason - the big ones know what they'r doing", but in the last time this changed alot. Im still sure, that the big ones know exactly what they'r doing, but I'm also sure, that it's not the best for all of us.
I now belive, that the abstact lines on the cards are really bad for the people and a uniformed state would be the best.
There is no doubt, that the world works global already - companies act global - the internet connects people global - you can (nearly) travel everywhere - in fact there are no borders anymore. But still with all this globalisation there are hundrets of states working for their own, making their own rules and then complain about their weakness against global companies. Of course they'r weak against them if the corporations can decide in which state they work.
"You make a bad law for me? fuck off im going to India - they'r cool"
So the politics have no real chance of stopping the abuse of the companies (and they abuse alot - what's probably the most evil thing on earth).

One perfect example is the global warming problem (which i saw a film about this weekend - "An inconvenient truth" from Al Gore, which i recommend everyone to see! i think i'll write about it in detail somewhen else).
Without global rules you just cannot stop the problem, because it's not a local problem, but a global one. If one country reduces it's greenhouse gas polution to zero it's still useless if the U.S continues to pollute as much as they'r doing right now. So you need global rules - like the Kyoto Protocoll - but hey Bush just fucks on it, because he doesn't want to make his big oil friends that made him president angry.
Sadly this example also shows perfect why it will probably never (i think i won't see it anymore) work out. The companies are just too powerfull already and the politics are often ruled by interests of them.
Please don't get me wrong - I'm not one of the "bad companies go to hell" guys, no, I love capitalism and the idea that the more effort you put into something the more you get back in the form of money, but the reality is different from the last sentence. Often it's just "how do I abuse the others best to get the most?" and that's really sad, because after a day we're all just humen and over the long run have to work together (against aliens :P).

This problems wouldn't be there if there was a global state - you can make global rules that everyone has to hold to. There wouldn't be the possibility for a company to say "hey i don't like this - i leave now" (they could go to another planet, but if they achive that im fine with it)

The anti - company - abuse thing isn't the only thing that would be solved with a global state - if I think of any other grounding problem of the world - they are not instantly away with my idea, but at least they're MUCH easier to handle.
I like the concept of the EU where areas that aren't as good developed as other ones get extra cash to build infrastructure (which is i'd say the basic thing to make it worth (or even possible) living in an area). If there's the correct infrastructure everywhere on the world - there wouldn't be a food problem - noone has to starve anymore (which is a real pitty today if you see how much we have and it just doesn't come to the people that need it or they don't have the chance to produce as much as we do. These people often don't have the possibility to survive in today's world, because they'r handicapped by the area they were born so much, that they never can catch up - that's really sad).

I think the AIDS problem would be fixed MUCH easier if everyone has the same information that we favoured people in the western countries have. If someone still doesn't use a condom - he's stupid - ok - can't solve that, but at least the information, that condoms can safe your life should be spread to everyone - which doesn't work without the right infrastructure (if you don't reach the people physically you have just little chance reaching them verbally).

Global peace would be secured (not 100% peace - you can't reach that), but at least wars between countries wouldn't (or shouldn't) come up. There'll always be people that have to revolute (in a perfect world there wouldn't be - the world isn't perfect - but maybe my global state is perfect enough to satisfy everyone, i don't belive in that, but who knows).


Of course it's not easy to create such a state - it's the opposite - probably the hardest task on earth, but I still think, that thinking and talking about it always ends up in something better - at first in some unique brains (like mine), but sometimes maybe all the people support it - and if the people support something the companies, the politics and noone has the chance to stop it.

I order anyone who reads this to write a comment (everyone can, not just registered users) on this - i want your opinions!
I'll probably write about special aspects of this global state in more detail soon.
At last i want to suggest a song by Black Eyed Peas to you - it's called "Union" - i like it and it expresses (not perfectly, but at least in some points) what I think about in my global state idea.

thanks for reading

Friends

If someone reads this article first i ask you to read the first 3 ones (at least #3 where i explain why I do this) first before going on to this one.

Instructions:

In my last post i wrote that i today told some of my friends about the blog.
I take oppurtunity to test how well I know all of them.
In the following text I'll explain the personalities of the people using fakenames so the ones who know them will probably know who's ment.
I'll try to mostly stick to things concerning the character of the persons, not too much how the look, what they often do or something so if it's easy to find out who's ment I know that i know them at least well enough to describe them and if it's hard to find out a) i have a problem in expressing myself or b) I don't know my friends well enough.
Also if someone likes one explaination especially and you feel it fits for you, just take that one as long as it let's you feel better :)
I'll mostly leave the "i like him/her" and "he/she is nice" out, because I think that about everyone I'll write about and just want to describe my friends how i see them and what I lilke/dislike special about them.
This is not a rating and the order in which I'll write about them is random.
I'll add as few clues that don't concern the character - maybe if it's not guessable I'll add more clues to describe them better. So there are things that I won't write about, but I (don't) appreciate about the person.
If someone is obset or something about one of the explainations please write me so i delete it.
Also any misspellings or ways how to express something better are welcome to be shown and corrected in the comments. (see post "Why?").
The following text is an emotional snapshot of me. This is just what flashes into my mind late at night. There will be sides of the people that i won't mention, but I hope I create a good character picture of the people.

Finally i want to advice you to use dict.leo.org for some words I did it aswell.

Friends:

Eddy:
I start with him, because he's kinda easy to describe.
Eddy is a guy who takes life serious which i really admire that alot.
He isn't gready and gives what he has for his friends. I think friends are very important to Eddy, but when it's required he takes his time for the things that are more important.
His mood is always good and he's never rude to anyone (except when he's joking sometimes - but he doesn't do the bad harras jokes too often).
Eddy is very smart and I see (in my magical crystal ball) a very nice future for him with a nice job and so on.
My relation to him is good, even if our relationship isn't too deep. We talk about serious topics mostly, but I enjoy it alot to discuss with him and we spent hours with that already.

Samuel:
Samuel is a guy who's got a good mood all the time as well. I know him better than Eddy.
If I had glasses with which i could look through someone's eyes and think what they think for some minutes Samuel would be the first I would test. (after some special people - like the pope (i want to know what drives this ubercrist), arabella kiessbauer (because I want to know how it is to be so stupid) and some other special views like the view of a pornstar or something ;) - im drifting away from the topic)
He sometimes has strange, pessimistic (i don't wanna say apocalyptical) thoughts or ideas concerning the future, but again I like to discuss with him about it, because it gives me a little bit of understanding or I just come to a point with him where we both aggree).
Also like Eddy his is bountiful. He doesn't has too much, but he shares it with his friends and i appreciate that.
Samuel likes to enjoy his life and often he's scared about the future (everything will be bad - we have to enjoy our time now and so on), but I promise you a good future Samuel. Your skills and your personallity will lead a save way through your life.
My Relation to him is very good. We are close friends and I see him relatively often. We can talk about everything, but actually don't do it about every topic all the time.

Sepp:
(I thought long about the name, because to people who know him it's a good clue (: )
Sepp is a the third of the always happy people (maybe I'll do a not alway happy one next).
He has got a very special charm and with his sometimes bawdy humor he always shares his good tune with others. He isn't actually the smartest guy, but it really doesn't matter, Sepp is clever at the things he has to and he likes and the rest is bullcrap.
He is someone who's got alot of friends I thinks, but still can have a very special relation to everyone (also me).
Our relation is very good. I also can talk with him about everything, but more regualry do some important topics.
I wouldnt know a thing i would improve in him or our relationship (maybe we could do more together again in future, but the summer will come...)

Adolf:
Adolf is now one guy who can have different moods. Sometimes he is very pissed, but sometimes he is very nice and a very good friend - also someone you can talk to very well.
Actually I think his personallity shows itself best when he's drunk. It's his character (mostly) but twice our three times more characteristic.
He is very honest and nice when he's drunk and you can (as i already said) have good talks with him about serious problems or you have alot of fun with just chatting with him making fun, but there is a dark side. He also gets very rude sometimes and when someone whom he doesnt like does something that he doesn't like he'll sure get a brickbat from him. Also to people he usually likes he can get rude (just when he has a kind of a level of alc), which i don't appretiate, because it also happened dry sometimes.
Adolf could change himself in his aggressivness a bit.
Nevertheless i like him very much and he'll always stay a good friend for me - I hope your future plans (and he's got special plans that are very developable and which i respect) will fulfill.


Sabine:
Sabine is female - it's true i also have friends that are female.
She is again of the happy sort of persons - very happy to be excact - so happy that i can imagine that it can sometimes make you mad - luckily/unluckily i get to meet her in relatively (compared to other friends) small pieces, but I would love to enhence the dose.
I like her special, because she was always there for me, also when we really hadn't much contact and then suddenly again. I think I could phone her 24/7 and tell her if it's really really important that she has got to stand up, touch her nose and turn 3 times on one foot and she would do that.
I wanna thank you for this.
Sabine is that kind of person who is something like the complete goodness in a person. She is never rude to people and meets people with an open big heart.
My relation to her is very nice in the form it is right now, but there are always points to improve like maybe the frequency of meetings, but nevermind it's ok as it is also.

Gustav:
He is actually too easy to describe and i won't think that people who read this will have problems figuring out who's ment.
He is kind of the complete opposite of Sabine concerning his normal mood. He's often very pissed and also carries this mood out to his ambience. Generally his acquaintance with many people (excluding me - he's always nice to me, because I know how to handle him (; ) isn't the best and he could work on that.
On the other hand he can be very happy (in special moments ^.^) and Gustav is always really bountiful and also in his bad times in his special not so apparant way very nice and fair.
He's smart and if he's really motivated for something he is very consequent at this (which wasn't always the case at some special events in school :P ). I appretiate that consequence which he has at activities he likes very much and think I can learn alot from him in many fields.
Our relation is fine. I think we kinda excactly know where we stand and also we know very well how to behave and communicate with each other.

Rupert:
Rupert is a person that if his mood is good (and it is most of the time) he's congenial and it's fun hanging out with him. Everyone got a basic leader for his life that includes basic opinions on topics and social skills. I think Rupert's leader is very well built and he always has an idea that is traceable behind his ideas and actions. I don't say that I aggree with all of his opinions, it's far from this - my views of things are often different (often very different) to his, but that is absolutely no problem.
He is again one of the persons I love to discuss with - and he loves so too I think. He's kinda analog in the readiness for discussions to me and that readiness is often very big. I try to tell him that my opinion is the better one and vice versa - outcome is often a very heavy discussion where it can get loud (but not aggressive). I enjoy this a lot.
My relation to him doesn't go 100% deep, but it's a cool state with room for improvement and also elasticity for less contact (which i don't hope).

Sebastian:
Sebastian is a very smart person who's mood is kinda variable. It can range from very entusiastic and happy to down and no lust for anything. I guess if you know someone well you just automatically get to know the whole range of emotions and I can say that I'm fine with all of your emotion states and I know, and can vary for your mood, how I have to talk with you.
Even if Sebastian is a bit emotional vagary there are some things that don't change in any of his moods - he is fair and totally realistic - he is not rude to me and people who are important to him - he is clever and does the thing that have to be done in the way they should be done.
Actually im sure after this sentence it's 100% clear who's ment, but hey some people are special and Sebastian is truly a very special one ;) and this specialty is the excact reason for me (and I think for many people) to like him.
My relation couldn't be better and what I particularly like about it is that I know very excact where I stand and how I have to interact with him.

Kurt:
Kurt is a person who is basically often happy, but doesn't share it too much to his environment (exception: alcohol). He has this view of the world that seems to fit perfectly well for him and he often tries to explain it to me, but we have some points where we are very wide away from each other - like at Rupert this is absolutely no problem. It's similar fun to discuss with him and you can take the lines in Rupert's explenation and paste it in here. Of course there are also points where we have the same opinion or he convinces me about something - which happens/ed often and those moments where he convinced me created very special very funny memories.
He's actually a bit lazy and rude which are points he could try to work on - but hey we all have got our minus and our plus sides.
My relation to him is fine. We meet each other just in the perfect dose - not too often so we hate each other, but often enough so we can have fun often and still don't lose contact (which was lost once :P).
Damn - again it's so clear ..

Marianne:
Marianne is actually male, but this is a little joke of me to fool you - haha :P. (getting more sarcastic i guess, because it's late - 6 am already (: )
It's kind of easy and enjoyable to make fun of him, what I mostly try to don't do too often, but sometimes I have to. Actually it sometimes can get very unfair (i hope i never was), but making fun of him is really not all we do - it's like 20% of the time making fun of him, 30% don't take him serious and 50% normal. The reason why it's so enjoyable fooling him is one he could work on. He sometimes seems a bit unsure for me although there is no real reason for that. You could be a bit more sure about yourself, because I think (I can be wrong - if you disaggree just forget it) in your unsecure feeling you try to be too strong or not vincible and fight back of just anger about the things that are said. I'm sure your mom or dad have told you that when someone harasses you it's much much more fun for the harasser if you try to fight back and anger - you should remember that more often. I don't know - maybe you are fine with it how it is right now - i am and if i tease you sometimes it's not ment personally.
I would describe our relation as improveable, but very good at the moment.

Anton:
Anton is a person who is very friendly to everyone. He's always in a good mood and has this positive aura (it also grabs other ones including me). It's nice to talk with him and you can discuss everything with him. As i mentioned at Rupert - the leader. I miss this a bit at Anton. Yea sure he has got his basic attitude, but I feel he's also very flexible in his opinion and often just talks what the people wanna hear, which I dislike sometimes.
This isn't really a minus point at Anton, cause normally it's as i said very enjoyable to talk to him and i don't hope you misunderstand me here, it's more a skill. It's the skill to meet people communicate with them in the adequate way and leave a good impression behind, which is a skill that's worth billions and more. I hope I can learn alot from you and in this field your kinda like an idol for me (sorry, but now the emotional hammer from me has to come - it's not as if i pray to him and look up - i'm different, but there are important things that i can learn and in those he's a perfect teacher).
The state of our relation is perfect.

As i already mentioned it's getting late (8:00 am after editing), but there are still many that are worth writing about, but I'll do that anothertime.
I hope you like it that far.
Good night
andi

Why?

This is the day where i first time advirtised my blog.
I told some of my friends about it and gave them link (right now i notice that i want to write it better, more exact and with correct spelling, now where i have audiance - i will try to fuck on this fact, i'll write my blog for whoever (mostly for me)).

maybe i should shortly explain why i started this blog and what it's for.
i first got i a real touch with the topic blogs in my english lessons. we talked about it and read an article (actually i wasnt there at that time - i was in ireland with my class (maybe ireland gets an extra post sometimes), but i read the article).
I want to share this article and advise everyone to read it. it very well describes what may be the reasons not to blog and the writer explains why this reasons are meaningless.
i couldnt find out who's the writer, but there is an address where the article should be from (it doesnt work for me right now)

Source: http://www.cabochon.com/~stevey/blogrants/why-you-should-blog.html
the download thing is in the middle right on the page - enter the code, wait, download
Article: http://www.uploading.com/files/M41FGN6J/Blogs.pdf.html
if someone isnt able to download it write your email in the comments and i send it to you.

Ok now i can explain what are the special reasons for me to write it and what i plan to write here. I'll leave the reasons mentioned in the article out, because i mostly aggree and also lots of the reasons are also mine.

I'll explain why I write it in general and why in english (not german and the language we usually speak in austria, what's my motherspeech).
This has several reasons:

1) I want to meliorate my english. (meliorate is a cool word from leo - hope it tells what i mean)
I will do my final test completely in english so this is importend for me.

2) I want to share this to everyone on the world (in the whole world isn't 100 procent correct if you consider the worldwide internet infrastructur - digital divide - that will be a topic of a speech at school somewhen in January of Febuary, i'll publish it)
Therefore english seams as the best language to spread it - if someone feels like translating this into any other language feel free to do so.

3) What comes with sharing is that i in a way open myself a little more. I want people to know what I think - how i see things and what I do due in my freetime or in school (this can be very interesting sometimes - for everyone and not always technical blabla that noone understands)
I had a nice discussion with a friend about this today - i don't mention any names, but i'll never be eased to discuss with him.

4) I have christmas holidays and much time in the nights - staying up writing with music is great.

I think this is it. Mostly this 4 points combined with the reasons in the article have driven me to create a blog and to write all this.
I wanted to combine this text with another text about my friends, but I'll split them and now start to write the other one.

Happy new year, unhappy beginning

ITS 2007!! hoorai, i wish you all the best for this year.
i hope i'll get the best in 2007 and im looking forward to a nice year. i'll do my final test at school and finish it (took long enough now, and the teachers run out of knowledge to teach (: )

after finishing school i'll do my social service work (which is prescribed in austria for men - not for women, but they have to play the living brood box at some time of their life so thats fair with me)
probably i'll do this work at the red cross - which two of my friends (and tomorrow a third one - (haha relaxing time is over for you now lukas (; )) and they both say that it's a great work and it's probably the one where you get the most money (it's not much and you cant compare it to a normal salary - even the unemployee money is more, but as i said it's required so fuck it)

maybe i'll write more about this work (maybe when the third friend tells me some experiences or when i finally register myself for it), but for the moment im kinda drifting off the topic.

so we have got a new year, which basically doesnt mean alot since just because a digit changes the people (including me) won't change instantly, but still it's a nice event to a) review the last year, b) look forward to new stuff i wanna do and c) to get drunk, which leads me to the party where i celebrated new years eve.

this party was in hintersdorf which is a very small sleepy town 20 minutes from vienna (i live in klosterneuburg - 10 minutes from vienna - and klosterneuburg is already a very sleepy town where kinda nothing happens, because everything is in vienna, so you can maybe imagine how abadoned hintersdorf is). (man i do long brackets sometims (: )

when you compare this 3 cities with body parts and austria is the whole body - vienna is the beautiful face, klosterneuburg is the hair on your ass and hintersdorf is the deep black hole in the middle :) (actually it's not really that bad and when you go deeper into austria you'll find towns that aren't even compareable to a fart).
nevermind - the party was great.

my and almost everyones (which were like 20 people) mood was very nice and we had great fun celebrating together. i was pretty drunk, pretty early and pretty long.
i arrived at the party at 20 o clock pm or something and already after the first few bears i had a nice feeling (which i already had when i was still dry).
i met some people whom i didnt see for a long time and also there were almost all the good friends i see more frequently.

when it came to zero hour and we went on a field beside the house we found out that when the rockets explode on the ground it's much more fun than when they fly into the sky (dont try this at home and when you still feel the pain). So we fired our rockets sticking them into the mud and after lightning them running (when i think of it - you should try it out, but you should also be careful - which we weren't - just lucky and well trained reflexes).

The party went on until 6 o clock when i decided to go home with 2 friends.
You have to know that when you decide that you go home from hintersdorf you face a long walk (we wouldnt pay a taxi). It's like a 3 hours walk, but i felt like it (also to sober up a bit). Luckily we catched a bus, which we first thought wouldnt go so ealry because its the 1st and thats holiday. So it didnt take the whole 3 hours, but still 1 to get to the bus station.
When i went home from my bus station (10 minutes walk) i wished a random guy a happy new year who was going the same way and we came into talking. I figured out that he's from togo (i hope i remember correct - i was still not very dry and very tired). He lives in vieanna and tries to create a future here for himself and his wife here and he complained a bit about the rasist people in vienna (he's black).
Actually this must sound a bit boring perhaps, but it was a really nice talk and i even had a better feeling after it. It was the perfect ending of a (nearly) perfect day.

As perfect as the last day ended, the next day started perfectly bad. It all started at night when i was very thirsty (sobering up - dehydrate), but as you can imagine the last thing i wanted to do is leave my bed. Finally i stood up to get a bottle of water and there was already one standing in the kitchen (which was from yesterday, but it was fine enough for me in my sleepyness at that moment). Actually the water wasnt very good (it tasted old and like it stood around in the kitchen for month), but i drank half the bottle (like 0.7 liters).
When i woke up the next time i felt very queasy. i struggled in my bed and stopped to drink the water (after a final gulp - i had a very dry mouth (: ). I felt like i was gonna die, because a) i was sobering up from something like the drunk of the year, b) I drank this not so nice water and c) i was very very hungry (but i didnt wanna eat, because of my stomache - that sucks).

So after some hours of hell in my bed i decided to stand up and start a fine new year.
It didnt take 2 minutes after leaving the bed before i was hanging over the toilet the first time (i puked the soul out of my body - which wasnt vey much because my stomach was empty, but the water wanted out). Its funny that i didnt had to puke before i slept, but in the morning.
After the first set on the toilet i decided to drink a cacao. When i was making my coup i drank another gulp of water (i was still very thirsty).
I shouldn't have done this - just 2 minutes after the gulp the next round of the battle between me and my body began (the day before i showed my body how i can destroy it if i want and the next day the body fought back - hard).
So i was puking again, but again no hard things - only water. The bad thing was that this werent that kind of puking where you feel good again after it - it was the kind of you even feel worse then.

When i finally was out of the toilet again i drank my cacao (later it turned out, that the milk i used wasn't good anymore, but my taste senses were kinda out of order after 2 times hitting the bathroom).
I wasnt very happy with the things i chose to drink - so as you can imagine this milk didnt feel like staying in me - i had to get it out.
After the third time i started the day really - i was very careful in choosing what i ate and drank then.
One hour later a friend showed up and he brought me bananas, zwieback (funny - it seems as it's the same in english and german), some tea and something we call bischkoten, but i don't know how it's called in english.
I started to feel better again and the rest of the day was really nice again - i spent it hanging around in my flat with just some driving around breaks. I watched the film van helsing and played alot of nintendo wii (which is a genious console i got at christmas - maybe i'll write about it in more detail sometimes).

i feel like this post is again long enough and wish everybody a nice new year again and a good night.

1st post

so this is my first post... how do you begin a blog?

i want to say hello to all people who found this room/diary/whatever.
maybe i'll introduce me so you know who writes this weird sequence of words.

my name is Andreas Fellner, i am 19 years old and i'm home in Klosterneuburg which is close to Vienna which is the capital of Austria which is in the middle of europe and so on and so on.
I share a flat with a friend and almost every day some other friends come over and hang out a bit (being bored together is better than being bored alone ^^).
My parents pay my part of the rent and also a little (kinda very little :/) bit of money for every month - i am often broke so if someone feels that he has got too much of the money he should donate it to a charity organisation for retarted kids or something and when he feels he still has got too much of it - send me an email ;)

I atend a technical school (actually not the school is technical, but the stuff I learn there) and im in the last of the 5 grades.
I'm in the Informationtechnology departement. I learn stuff about building websites, databases, 3D Models/Animations, network engineering, (media) economy, but also some normal things like history, english or math.
School was never too hard for me and I could motivate myself every year again (exept one year when i was 13 or so - damn teenage confusions), so i completed (nearly) every year with a very nice report (yea im so good im the best tralalalala - (: - actually there are better ones, but i don't wanna end up as a apple polisher (nice word - found that at leo) (maybe some think i am already one)).

I think this post is realatively long already and i dont wanna bore anyone.
maybe i'll write again tomorrow or whenever so the ones who dont like me or my post can f**k off and go to hell (no - you people sure have some good reasons) and those who could feel a breeze of interest in this/me/wonderful blogs can read on.
good night
congratulations if you pass this line you read my first post!